by Clowns are such a mainstream phobia that they’re a great pick for a movie monster in a horror film. The problem is that most of these efforts fall flat on their face with almost all of them being low budget affairs by inexperienced directors/writers. A good horror movie featuring a killer clown is a tough find, and one can only rewatch Stephen King’s IT so many times before it gets old. I for one am not one of those frightened by painted faces and honking horns, but for some reason I really want to be. One such film I thought might offer the cheap thrills I’ve been looking for is Victor Salva’s 1989 release of Clownhouse. Unfortunately it failed like all the others, and in some cases was worse than the low budget garbage I mentioned earlier. I soon learned there’s a lot of controversy surrounding this ‘classic’ but this isn’t the time nor is it the place to go into it. Regardless, here’s my review for Clownhouse.
The first mistake made here is that the main cast is composed of a trio of kids. We’re introduced to a young boy named Casey (Nathan Forrest Winter) who has always been deathly afraid of clowns. He’s plagued by nightmares and has a very unfortunate issue with wetting the bed. His older brother Geoffrey (Brian McHugh) takes pity on the little guy, but the elder of the three Randy (Sam Rockwell in his first appearance in film) torments the two endlessly. It just so happens that the circus is in town (you can probably see where this is going by now) and the trio has big plans to check it out. While there Casey chooses to spend his funds on getting his fortune told which tragically ends with the crazy gypsy telling him to beware because his lifeline indicates trouble is brewing. Later during the show his worst fears come true as a clown picks him out of the audience to come up on stage. In dramatic fashion Casey knocks him down and escapes the circus tent.
As luck would have it three patients have escaped from the nearby mental instituation and have made their way to the festivities. They make short work of the real circus clowns and take their costumes and apply makeup to themselves effectively taking their place. With no real plans now they wander the streets until they spot a blinking light in a window. As luck would have it the house in question is where Casey and his brothers live, and the murderous clowns set their sights on it. The rest of the film’s runtime consists of the clowns terrorizing the boys, and that’s Clownhouse in a nutshell. The premise sounds like it could be scary but the direction falls flat on its face. When I said that the clowns ‘terrorize’ that’s exactly what they do and little else. They run past windows, make brief appearances in the shadows, and just kind of wait around. There’s very little tension because it never feels like they’re in any real danger which is a major drag. In this sense the movie would be much more suitable as a children’s film, but the language and violence say otherwise.
Clownhouse is cheesy, and it’s on purpose I know, but it just doesn’t work nor is it funny in any way. The whole thing just comes off as stupid. Rather than simply chalking up the antagonists motives as them being crazy the script goes into more detail. Apparently they dress up as clowns and murder people because their ‘circus privileges’ were revoked. You’re not laughing? Yeah, neither am I. Suspend disbelief all you want, but it still doesn’t make this film functional to any degree. Furthermore rather than doing anything scary the clowns just kind of jump out at the protagonists in childlike ‘boo’ fashion, or ‘clown around’ before dispatching their victim. The fortuneteller angle is ridiculous and makes this feel much more like a kids movie than it should It’s a little too stupid for my tastes, and I can usually tolerate a lot of cheese. The soundtrack is pretty decent and does a fair job at making their presence seem ominous, but it’s not enough to carry things on its own.
To make matters worse the performances are so insufferable they’re annoying. I realize we’re dealing with child actors here but even with that in mind it’s pretty bad. Nathan Forrest Winters doesn’t deliver a single believable line, and his on-screen presence quickly becomes an annoyance. Brian McHugh is even worse and sounds like he’s reciting directly from the script. The clowns are okay but they really ham it up which again makes this feel like something more suitable for a younger audience. The only saving grace here is Sam Rockwell whose delivery of specific lines were the only moments in the film that I actually laughed at. Despite playing a bully he is the only actor with any charisma. He steals the show by far, and it’s interesting to see him so early in his career. It’s such a pity that he had to start with Clownhouse though.
Clownhouse has a great premise but the execution is weird and unsettling. Not in a good way; there’s something seriously off about this film which makes it downright difficult to watch. The somewhat decent score and Sam Rockwell’s performance are just about the only good that can be squeezed from this turd, but it’s just not enough to make carry this trainwreck. Clownhouse is unsettling for all the wrong reasons, and I honestly cannot recommend it to anyone. The hunt for a gripping and frightening clown based horror film not originally penned by Stephen King continues.
Pros
- Decent soundtrack
Cons
- Overly goofy
- Ineffective scares
- Boring to watch
