by I must admit that I’m a sucker for horror films that feature clowns. I’m not particularly afraid of the painted face doofuses, but rather, I know that a scary setting is made more fun by them. Plus, they’re usually accompanied by a host of jokes and/or one liners. This is why I was disappointed by the film All Dark Places. This relatively unknown film is centered around a clown antagonist, but falls short in the comedy aspect due to the fact that it tackles more serious issues such as divorce and drug use. That’s not my usual forte by any means. Knowing this I went in with tempered expectations, but you know what? I was still let down and super bummed out by the generic and soulless story here. It’s sad because the concept is at least unique but the filmmakers had no idea where to go with it.
All Dark Places revolves around a strained marriage between a young couple. Christian and Jamie have decided to try and save their struggling marriage by ending their separation, moving back in together, and attending marriage counseling. They would have called it quits long ago but they have a son and they’re trying to save him from the mental duress of divorce. The reason they’re struggling so much is because of Christian’s past involving drugs and making shady deals to support his family. That’s all in the past now, or at least that’s what he has promised Jamie, as he now has a real job and is staying on the straight and narrow. That’s what we think at least until his buddy shows up one evening and they snort massive amounts of cocaine while hatching a new money-making scheme. Chris is back to his old tricks, but he’s trying his best to keep it from Jamie.
Things take a turn for the worse when their marriage counselor indirectly suggests the couple drop acid together as a way to reconcile their differences. They joke about it but decide to go for it. What starts out as a fun and enlightening experience soon takes a turn for the worse when Jamie reveals that she knows Chris has been up to no good. She threatens to leave him and goes to sleep on the other side of the bed. The next morning her mood doesn’t change, and a distraught Christian goes for a jog. Unfortunately he keeps seeing a creepy clown running alongside him. The sightings of the murderous clown begin to increase more and more and Chris feels as though he’s losing his grip on reality. Things only get worse as his marriage continues to crumble and the shady deals he and his friend were hatching have gone up in smoke. Unbeknownst to him his son is seeing the same clown every night, and they’ve become quick friends in these trying times.
All Dark Places is a rather weird movie. The father, Chris, is basically the main character but he’s a tough guy to sympathize with. He’s an obvious smooth talker in the most obnoxious way possible. It’s hard to relate, and his wife Jamie is also nearly impossible for me to sympathize with. If it wasn’t for their son, who is all caught up in their drama, I wouldn’t care about any of the characters. Even he was a tough sell for me because the actor gives a very wooden and soul-less performance, but it’s a child performing in a low budget horror film so what can you expect. The imaginary clown that appears to Chris and his child is a pretty poor excuse for a horror antagonist. He tries to be over the top and funny while intimidating and creepy, but the end result is mixed. There are a few scenes where his presence is uncomfortable, but he never really goes beyond that. The writer tried to tie the story up and explain him, but it offers no pay off and the result is highly generic and lazy.
There’s absolutely no purpose behind the clown in the first place. They could have used the Wolfman in his stead and the plot wouldn’t have needed to be changed at all. The filmmakers were cheaply trying to appeal to consumers with that idea and it’s a plainly obvious cop out. Beyond that the film spends far too much time with Jamie and Chris and exploring their relationship. It wouldn’t be so bad except, as I mentioned earlier, they aren’t particularly likable. Additionally there’s a whacko marriage counselor we have to deal with who is even more unsettling than the clown. The character interactions here made me start grinding my teeth because they’re so annoying. This, paired with the almost nonexistent body count and wordy script makes All Bad Places a real chore to sit through.
I know that for all of you who are scared by or love clown based horror films that cover is tough to pass by. You would be making a real mistake investing any time into this one because it’s such a slog. Instead of being a scary movie about a clown it’s a horror film about divorce and a broken family. Something like that would take real effort to pull off, and unfortunately they just didn’t try hard enough here. It’s not often that I find myself actually annoyed with a movie, but the awful characters, acting, terrible story and sluggish pacing made All Dark Places one of the elite few.
Pros
- Somewhat decent make-up effects on the clown
Cons
- Boring and contrived story
- Not at all frightening
- Lame antagonist
